Big Changes

Big Changes

Avoiding another day of studying.. imagine that. I am almost through with this semester, and I am running out of energy faster than the days come to an end. But, I’m also trying to drag out these days for as long as possible. See, at the end of this semester I will no longer be a proud Texas resident. In fact, I will become a… como se dice… spaniard.

Starting in January I will be moving halfway across the world to study abroad. HOW EXCITING!!!!! Am I right? Of course, I am. You’d have to be crazy to not be excited about the adventure of a lifetime. But, no one ever talks about the other emotions that come with it. You know, like being scared shitless. 5 months, in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language… and I’m worried about being able to call my mom and finding a book in english. Oh and not to mention the whole, “I’m in college so I’m a broke student” ordeal. Yes, its exciting but also kind of terrifying.

I’m worried for a number of reasons. The first being the fact that I will be living with a host mom. For whatever reason, when I picture the home I will be spending the next five months in I see this very scary, dark, attic type room, with no windows and a miniature door. I realize reading that probably sounds as ridiculous as I felt typing it, but it’s the truth. And I think this stems from fears of feeling trapped, in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language, in an attic. Second, as all people my age are, I’m worried about the cell phone situation. How will I call my mom? or my boyfriend? or… anyone???? Also, the other annoying questions like… how often will I be able to post on social media about my amazing spanish life. To be honest, I don’t really have any answers for these questions and to be quite frank neither does AT&T. Lastly, i’m worried about being homesick. Yes for the obvious reasons, like home will be a bit farther away than a hop, skip, and 8 hour drive. But also because I won’t really even have the option to go home. Not only that but I am not the most social person in the world. In fact, I’d be willing to say I spend most of my day in my room, enjoying my own company. However, in Spain you’re not allowed to have other people in your home so to be with friends (or speak english) you have to go out and be…. social. YIKES! I’m sure it’s doable but I am exhausted just thinking about it.

Despite my worries, I am so freaking excited. I can’t wait to see all the things, and taste all the foods, and meet all the people. I cannot wait to experience another culture. Wish me luck, send good vibes and all that jazz. I am excited to share my stories and experiences!

Introducing Me

Introducing Me

Readers,
I write this assuming there are some of you, somewhere, actually reading the words that I am typing. I’m currently sitting in a brightly lit lecture hall, tuning out the incredibly intelligent man droning on and on in front of me. Will I fail the next exam? It’s possible! I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Anyways, you may have guessed it by now but if not I’m a college student. I go to a really amazing university deep in the heart of the middle of nowhere. 8 hours away from all of the people I adore. So, it gets lonely sometimes but the introverted side of me knows how comforting being alone is. I am studying psychology, which hopefully will show in my blog posts to follow as I navigate the inner workings of my brain and emotions. Then again, I’m not holding my breath.

I have a really awesome boyfriend, who I am sure will make an appearance in my posts and most likely (hopefully) be a devoted fan of my writing. I think I can also count on my mom and bestfriend to correct my spelling errors (at the very least). I’ll write more about them soon.

This the part where I talk about why I am starting a blog. I have tried numerous times to blog in the past, but I am my own harshest critic. Needless to say, my posts never stayed up for more than a few days and with that came the feelings of stupidity, embarrassment, and judgement. Since then I have grown a little bit and come to learn that… no one gives a f**k about me as much as I think they do. The woman at the supermarket has no idea that I post on a blog, nor does she care that I spelled the word embarrassment wrong. Twice. Thank you, spell check. I’ve also learned that overall it makes me feel… better and more relieved. And if I do have readers, even if it’s just one person, I hope that maybe you can connect with my stories and find a little hope in them. Or whatever it is you need to make yourself feel better.

I’ll try my best to not let things get too dark and twisty but, I do intend to be as genuine as possible. I would love to invite you all to my fantasy land where things are all sunshine and rainbows but, we all know real life isn’t that easy. Figuring that out can be crappy to say the least. I guess life would be boring if we didn’t have problems… right? I’ll pretend that you nodded your head.

For lack of better parting words I’ll end my first post with this: thank you for reading all the way to the end of this somewhat unorganized jumble of thoughts I have placed on the internet. Here’s hoping this blog lasts just a bit longer than the previous one.